This blog, Just Another Day, has been on a hiatus for 2+ years now. I didn’t do it on purpose nor have I forgotten that the blog world exists. In fact, the original intent of the blog was to document a personal journey of sorts. Here I am 2 years later, you could say a different person. No longer am I young and rebellious (that is up for debate however). For myself, I could say I have grown more discipline and aware of the fact that I grew because I wanted to help myself. I have several avenues of people and ideals which have helped me along the way. School, well that ship I jumped on and finished with a BA in Psychology. The long tireless hours of writing papers, figuring out formulas, and generally socializing with classmates has come. It’s funny because I wrote a few years about how each year has taught me a lesson. This was back in 2013. jump in 4 years later. School took up a bulk of those years from 2013-2017. Now in the present I am a professional in the research world as a coordinator for a study which focuses on physical activity and nutrition. I asked myself this week, just how in the heck did I go from Sales Floor Team Member at Target to Social Science Research Coordinator at Stanford? I present to you the journey that all started back in 2011. That was a pivotal year in my growth and to this day I don’t know where I would be without it. Here is my story in 2011 and how it led me to today:
I was sitting at home one evening in 2011 after coming home from work, exhausted and getting ready to watch Monday Night Raw. This was during the buildup to WWE’s World Series WrestleMania. The Rock dazzling the audience, had just returned saying he was back. I had just finished a shift at Target where I was outside talking to a friend about life at work and life at home. The next day after being super excited from my conversation with my friend and the Rock’s return, I realized something was terribly wrong. The pain in my kidneys had returned and I knew what it was. I had kidney stones from a very early age. I made a doctor’s appointment for the next week and they referred me to a specialist thereafter. The nephrologist (name for a kidney specialist) had broken the news to me that I would need to just watch my diet and focus on exercise. Then she told me I had polycystic kidney disease. That day I learned the lesson that telling the brutal honest truth (even if it is coming from a doctor) to someone can be very heartbreaking and can do wonders for the unknown. This has helped me in my journey because I don’t want to be seen as being dishonest whether it is with a professional colleague, if it was during my time in school, or with any of my friends. Ever since, I have focused on keeping my diet steady and working on my physical activity.
I have never been shy also in the idea that I do not like asking for help. That year was also when I looked at myself in the mirror and said I had to bunker down and finish school. I have one or two friends who still to this day say “I want back to school” or “school is too hard”. There is that one famous Fight Club scene where Brad Pitt and Edward Norton go into the liquor store and the clerk says he wanted to become a veterinarian. The guy says there was too much school and Brad Pitt’s character says if he wants to die on his knees in the back of a liquor store. I watched that movie over ten years ago and it still sticks with me. The point is, I had nowhere to go but up. I always afraid of math. I would never ask professors for help. I said to myself all you have to do is ask for help. I talked to counselors, friends, and family on what I should do. That one friend who did end up helping me was Ricardo. I had met him almost 3 years prior. To this day on September 2nd 2017 we still talk. I talked about my decision to step away from school for a semester. I wrote about it in detail in the archives available here. The idea that he helped me is why I am forever grateful to him. I didn’t know where to go and how to do it. I know this isn’t the time or place to say so but I almost felt that him helping me on which classes I should take or where I should take those classes are why I succeeded, was almost like a calling card that this guy was meant to help me. I took the necessary classes at San Jose State all the way down to Mission College. To him, the important lesson I learned that it is ok to ask for help even if you don’t necessarily want it. Will you fail? Yes, and accepting that you tried with every bit of your willpower is what got me through. To this day, I have to remind myself that it is ok to ask for help at work, at home, or even from friends when I don’t want to seem pushy with them. I asked from help from a variety of sources that year and without them I am forever grateful.
The one thing that I have failed to mention along this long grueling journey is your friends will be there to support you. Whether they choose to see you and hang out with you is a different story. I had a friend named JB not too long ago. I thought the world of him and I can honestly say he knew several things that I did not. He helped me overcome my shyness and how to not be so unapproachable. We have not spoken in 6 years face to face. I’ll never know why or how it happened. I have reached out to him and I have gotten a lukewarm response of “we’ll see” or “I don’t know if I’m going to be busy”. This goes back to friends will see you if they want to see you. Even during this time frame from 2011-2017, I have gained a few friends back and some that I hadn’t heard from in years. I have two friends in particular who I think the world of. I saw them once or twice within this time frame and I never did see them again after. Friends, whether you like it or not have different priorities. One friend may be low priority or high priority depending on how both sides see it. With that I bring to you a story filled with excitement and joy that was brought about by a different source than usual.
I was finishing my senior year at San Jose State and during the week I had gotten a text from a friend of my brother’s. My brother had kept in contact with him from time to time. His name is Aldo and he had texted me about an opportunity to work at Stanford School of Medicine. It would be a temp position as a research assistant. I didn’t think much of it. I texted him back the next day that I would love the opportunity. That same weekend, I got the news that my Grandfather had succumbed to Parkinson’s disease and had passed away. I thought the world of him and I never got the chance to say goodbye. I remember driving to the airport (in Sacramento mind you), and my mind was racing with the idea of something new and fresh. A few months prior, I had transferred stores to another Target. The idea behind it was to first be closer to home and to finish out school easier. I also wanted to be close to a friend as well that had recently transferred there. The school year was coming to a close and my college endeavor as an undergrad was as well. Target does prepare you to deal with guests and personalities only a kindergartner could dream of. I still remember the many guest complaints we would get or the occasional obsessive personalities from one manager which I still admire to this day. However, I digress and say I was excited at having a chance at the idea. I fixed up my resume and filled out my application and sent it to my friend Aldo. I got the news the next week I didn’t get it and someone else had filled the position. I had started going to job fairs at school and said maybe that would be the answer. I couldn’t find anything that excited me (although that Walgreens manager did a really good job at selling me on the idea of being a shift leader). That year started off terrible with me being rejected at Stanford and the death of my Grandpa. But, the will of one never resists temptations to move on up. I got a call from Aldo that said I was being called up and I would need to freshen up my resume for an interview. I fixed that up and it was the first time I realized that it was going to take some courage to do this. I nailed the interview (or so I think) and the one thing that helped me was that how well you get along with others will take you far. You can be the smartest guy in the room and even that can get you some heat. I talked about some of the things that make me a good team player as well as the idea that I would need to be on board to help out. I said yes and off I went home. I didn’t think much of it and I went to my brother’s house. I got the e-mail right away that I got hired. I was elated and surprised at the same time. Two days later, I put in my two weeks at Target. As for the departure from Target, it was an experience that I’ll never forget and everybody (even if it’s for a few hours) should work retail. As a research assistant, I had the chance to recruit participants for a physical activity study on the telephone. It was really all about learning the ins and outs of eligibility. We had certain requirements (activity levels and little to no health issues). I did that for nine months and after I graduated I applied for a full time job with the same lab. I was more nervous for this position because of the added responsibilities and extra work load. However, that was not to be and I went in to interview for the position and I was told that I had gotten it a week and half later. For almost two years, I have been working on this study (with 338 participants) and now with the added knowledge that I have, I feel that it has been fulfilling, exciting, and I have made a few friends out of it. I have also gotten to see that help comes from the unknown sometimes and you may not even realize it. To my friend Aldo, I tell him from time to time that if it weren’t from I wouldn’t be where I’m at. I ultimately did it but help comes from the unexpected. Thank you my friend.
As I wind this down, I do want to touch on something that has brought me here from 2011 to 2017. My dog Paloma was also instrumental in helping me get here. Last year in July, she was run over and I could not save her. It was a Saturday night and I had decided to for a walk by the 101 freeway by my house. I had crossed the freeway for cars and I was very close to being hit. I barely dodged the car and I looked behind me to see her bloodied from the car that had just passed. My other dog Zorro was behind me and he thankfully survived. I remember being devastated and one person stopped to help. I did not get her name and for all I know she might have done it out of the goodness of her heart. To her I say thank you because she helped me get Paloma off the road. I vividly remember calling everyone from my mom and dad to my brother. My brother was devastated because he brought her in first to the house. She eventually had her son Zorro and I think I see so much of her in him. After I called everyone letting them know what happened, an ambulance stopped by to let me know that Paloma was no longer breathing. This was the hardest day of my life. My dad buried her the next day and I remember seeing a Paloma in the air that day and Zorro staring at it. RIP girl I miss you every day. If there’s anything that helped me get through that year of 2011 in my decision making it was that dog and her ability to cheer me up when things weren’t looking the brightest because of where my head was in terms of finishing school. She was my motivation to be loving and caring to those around me. It also helped me get outside more as well. I was close to her and I think it does help to have pets in your life. Zorro has carried on her legacy fairly well and I cherish that dog every day. I leave you with this everybody
I do want to continue writing on this blog and I just need to get my creative juices flowing again. I want to commit to writing at least once a month on here. Where I am now, I can’t say I am completely satisfied because I still want to travel to other places and also to explore more places. This is something that really gets me on my high horse. This has been a good reflective piece to where I am now. Till next time everyone!
Just Another Day... 