Tag: Friends

300 Writing Prompts #10: Have you ever taken a huge risk? What was it, and was it worth it?

Posted on by anele25

Risks in my life have never been the way to go and nor have they ever been. I once did take a risk however and in the end it was worth it. I was thinking back to three years ago today and today is the anniversary of my graduation. There were events that led up to that that started with one risk that I felt was worth it at the end. I am pretty open about my past and one of the risks I took was transferring Target stores in 2014. At the beginning of the summer in 2014, I met with a friend of mine asking if I had ever thought of transferring stores. The store was closer to my house and it would save me more gas. I also thought about the long term ramifications as if I had left the store I would be not as sentimental about leaving. For example, if I had stayed my full seven years at the same Target store I would have felt the burden of leaving behind all my friends. I worked that summer with the thought in my head that it was time to transfer. I worked closely with my managers to make sure I had a smooth transition.

 

As the date got closer, I really started doubting the decision because now I would leave everyone behind. The friends that I did make there finally became apparent to me afterward. In retail, you make these acquaintances that you may think are your friends but then after you leave you start to see who your real friends are. I left that old Target store with my head held high but I also started getting emotional towards the end of my first night. I thanked everyone for the time they had spent with me and for their mentorship as well. I walked out knowing that I had made something good there and I started crying like a baby as I walked out. I sat in my car for close to 5 minutes thinking about the memories I had made there. I told myself right then and there that everything had been worth it. The hardships, the fun parts, the struggles, and everything in between. I remember driving to Smoke Eaters that night ready to eat something because I said to myself that would be my small meal that I would eat to celebrate this new phase in my life. No longer would I be commuting and struggling to get to work in San Jose and I would be closer to home. I sat at home and wondered about what the future would bring and thankfully I was off for the next 4 days. I started at my new store that Thursday and I realized right away how different everything was compared to my old Target store.

 

Everybody seemed older and there was a mix of younger as well. I started talking to a few team members and started getting my feet wet little by little. I saw this also as a new opportunity to learn with some new team members. I remember being approached if I ever wanted to enter an executive role as well and then I started seeing how everything was constructed and I realized that it was not worth it. The way that Target works is they like to recruit from within and see team members as being ready for that role as well. An executive is in charge of owning their area and making sure their team leaders have their planners up as well as making sure their aisles are full as well. I quickly learned at my new store that staying organized is one of the bigger problems at retail. You also learn to deal with people whether they are old or young. You see the good, bad, and the ugly. That was something that was worth it because you got to serve a completely new audience and a complete new kind of guest as well. No longer, were they the high strung client from Saratoga but now they were the working middle class from Sunnyvale. I had grown up in Sunnyvale so I knew a little about what the people were like there. As the months went by, I started to realize that my time to enter into the real world was rapidly approaching. I was close to being 27 years old and some of my friends at this age already had pretty stable jobs. I was going back and forth wondering what I was going to do next. I was working at Target one day and they implemented this new strategy where they wanted everything full at certain times of the day. One day, it was my turn and by all means it did not look the best. I got berated by one of our executives and it just so happens that is when I said this place may not be for me anymore. I started thinking what can come along or what can I do to change this new environment of mine. I did my best to keep my head up but everything just kept getting worst whether it was hours or the way we were all being treated. One day, I got a call from one of friends telling me about a position opening at Stanford and if you have read some of my previous posts, I ended up leaving Target soon thereafter.

 

In hindsight, this risk I took because my friend had told me about has led me to today. I would not be the same person I am today because I learned that going into new environments can be intimidating but that is what life if all about. Adapting and overcoming those obstacles and seeing what comes out of it. I can say for how my life is that I am grateful for what has happened because the ultimate lesson I learned from my transfer to another Target store was I learned those that stick by you pull through for you in the end. It doesn’t matter whether things are the best in the world or if they are the worst in the world, they will give the skin off their back in order for you to succeed. I saw the good in what happened and now I can look back and say my risk paid off. Yes, I did miss my co-workers but then I saw they are only that: co-workers. I made the analogy the other day with a good friend of mine “when in war, you only talk about war and then everything just ends”. I made my destiny with those changes and now I am looking forward to whatever life brings next.

What happened when… Jose went to Tampa Bay Florida

Posted on by anele25

About two weeks, I wrote that I wanted to cover my trip to Tampa Bay in long form. The story as to why I went is simple. I had two weeks off from work and I’m also a huge fan of the hockey team the Tampa Bay Lightning. The goal was to catch two games from the Lightning on a Tuesday and Thursday. Last year around this time, I started planning out the trip and lo and behold, this is what happened when I went to Tampa Bay Florida.

 

The day of the trip is usually the most anticipated because you have to everything in order. First, you have that damn itinerary ready just in case you forget which airline you’re flying and which terminal you’re going to. Second, you have to have all your necessary items that you’re going to carry with you. The day of the trip I had everything ready. The night of December 19th 2016 I left wheels up for Tampa. I remember the majority of the flight I slept because it was a red eye and I was listening to the now highly acclaimed Something to Wrestle with… Bruce Prichard. We landed early that morning and I also had a connecting flight from Atlanta. The connecting flight, (known little to my knowledge) was on final boarding and I now rushed over. I just missed the flight and I felt rather devastated. I had never been in this situation and I was lost as to what I should do. I asked around and someone pointed me to services from Delta. I was gladly handed a new boarding pass and there I was on my way to Tampa Bay. I landed about 1 hour later than my original time. Once again, when I’m in a new city I try to look for new things to do and see. I’ve found that planning out a trip detail by detail beforehand can end up backfiring on you. Built on spontaneity, a trip can have so much more adventures and elusive stories.

 

Nevertheless, I went over to my rental counter for my car and asked which kind of car I had reserved. Knowing me, I said yes to upgrade a sports car. I ended up driving a Ford Mustang and that thing at first was hard to navigate. I grabbed my car and eventually went exploring around the city. The first thing I did was grab some food and I went shopping for some groceries as well to have for the next few days. I did that and also explored a little around the city. The city had some nice harbors and the beaches were wonderful to look at from afar (more about this in a bit). I ended up checking in later that day to my hotel. Whenever, I go to hotels I make sure that they are a Days Inn because usually they are pretty reliable. After some relaxation, I ended up making my way towards my first game of the trip. The first game was against the Detroit Red Wings and the atmosphere from Amalie Arena was quite interesting. I had heard that perhaps Tampa wasn’t a hockey town but it was quite a fun experience. I saw the passion in the fans and the amazing amount of support for the team was awesome. I went by myself on this trip and I was practically up on the top of the rafters. I was able to observe the game more closely and able to appreciate how shifts are happening and how the defensemen are able to guide the game for their team.  I had some Red Wings fans seated next to me and even there I said that hockey has the ability to bring fans from anywhere. This makes Hockey one of the premier sports for me because of the excitement, competiveness, and grit in the players. I had fun at my first hockey game in Tampa and we ended up winning 4-1 after some crazy plays happened involving the goalies going down for both teams. Afterwards, I came with the idea in my to head down to Miami. The Miami idea came about from the fact that I wouldn’t know when I would come back. I woke up the next day at 7AM ready to head out by 8AM. Once I headed out, I had little idea about the famous tolls in Florida.

 

As I went about on I-75, I had no cash and I saw the signs for the tolls. The drive itself was rather relaxing because I saw the swamps, could feel the humidity in the air, and was surprised that it was not raining as much as I thought. As I was going along paying my tolls, I wondered about what I would do on the way to Miami. I told myself I would probably catch a movie because the drive was quite long (about 4 hours to be exact). I ended up seeing Assassins Creed and the movie was great because I was curious as to how they would adapt a video game into a movie. The movies (if you have not seen it) had to do with Michael Fassbender’s retrieving the Apple of Eden which is being researched by a scientist because he wants to see wars and what not continue into the 21st century. It was panned by critics but I rather enjoyed it because it took the idea that revolutionaries can be created by going up against the system. After that was over, I decided to sit in traffic for a bit to head to Miami beach. Previously, I had been in South Miami but the trip to Miami Beach was worth it. I stopped by Miami Beach for a few hours and just sat on the beach taking in the time and effort I had put into making the trip happen. Everything that happened and everything that was to happen in the next few months had not come into my head. I think that’s what we forget sometimes is that we have to breath everything in. The ocean air and the sound of the ocean are enough to send me into a frenzy because that’s where I become one with the Earth. I sat on the beach for close to 20 minutes and afterwards headed back to where I was parked. Little did I know, it started raining and I said what the heck I’ll walk around in the rain. I just stopped by and saw all the little shops that were around. These shops give me the idea that someone will shill out enough money for a Miami Beach towel or a Miami Beach surfboard. The destination cities do a remarkable job at marketing these products and you can say they do well deserve it.

 

Afterwards, I headed back to Tampa around 6:30 in the evening. I found this drive to be much more adventurous than the first one. When I was driving back, I drove with the top down for a part of the drive. I just let the breeze blow through what hair I had left. I remember from some of the drive I had a semi-truck in front of me and I could feel the breeze getting colder. I wanted to drive with the top up again but the breeze was just too tempting to resist. I also remember when I was driving earlier in the drive that I was just zooming in and out of the lanes just trying to stay awake from all the driving that was happening. Once I got close to Tampa, I got a little bit more relaxed because I had done my driving and was ready for the next day’s adventure. The next day, I asked myself what else I could do? On this day, I decided to head up to St. Pete beach. Of course, the drive once again was wonderful and once I arrived I just laid on the beach for a few hours reading a book called ‘The Arm’. The book deals with Tommy John Surgery and what pitchers go through during the process. One pitcher in particular I remember they talked about in the book was Jon Lester. Lester himself talked about the mechanics of having to recover from Tommy John and what kinds of recovery that pitchers have to go through. I also found Todd Coffey’s comeback from Tommy John to be one of the most compelling pieces because of how he tried to come back and got hurt right away when he threw and he felt pain up his elbow. The author himself details how much money and how much stock into how these pitchers are developed from a young age into sensations at 19-20 and it all depends whether or not they can throw a 90 mile per hour fastball. I also found it fascinating while reading this that pitchers go out there every 5th day and are depended on for a 1 win or one quality start. It kind of reminds me of when a horse may just be gearing up for some races but he comes back on that day to run and he wins the big one.  If you’re not familiar with a quality start it’s usually 6 innings pitched, 3 earned runs, and maybe 5 or 6 strikeouts. I remember in particular on how kids in high school or in high school are scouted at a young age and eventually they are drafted into an organization. The development from these pitchers is worth looking into and I would be interested to see if another book such as this one dealing with maybe infielders or outfielders. The position players I feel can have just as a compelling story with pitchers because they understand what it takes to succeed. What I mean by this is that they have to have a good arm to throw out a runner or maybe even be willing to hit for power.

 

Anyway back to Florida. After I finished reading a good chunk of this book, I headed to look for some pizza and chicken. I settled on something and headed once more over to the hotel. I waited for a bit until the next game was to start. I headed out a bit early to check out the awesome downtown and see the arena and see a bit more. Once I was finished with that, I headed to the game ready for another showdown. This time we were playing the St. Louis Blues. This game I felt was a bigger challenge than the first one. The team of the Blues was much more talented and I was ready to see this one go down. After going down two goals, I said to myself ok we gotta find a way to come back. I also said once again I did not come all this way to see my boys lose. I had also that night bought a Lightning jacket which I really enjoy wearing these days as well.  After that, we never looked back and ended scoring up 5 unanswered goals (something about me and 5 unanswered goals really goes a long way). After the game was over, there is no doubt I felt there was definitely a sense that I would be back. I was planning to go back this year for my Christmas break but at this juncture it doesn’t look like it is going to happen because I have some surgery going on. I’m telling myself at this point that life is extensive and I do want to go back soon enough. I got back on the plan one day later and I sat there watching Jason Bourne and Dogs of War. I told myself there, ‘Life is Good’. I landed just in time for Christmas Day and had a very nice and relaxing rest of my break.

 

Now that I’ve written about my experience about traveling, I want to go back to something I haven’t written about in a while and that is wrestling. Recently, I listened to the Bret Hart 96/97 podcast with Bruce Prichard of Something to wrestle with fame. I am going to go ahead and write down some of my thoughts on one of my heroes and what he meant to me during that time almost 20 years ago. I’ll also take some snippets from the podcast and what I remember during that time. Hasta luego! (A little thing to remember this trip down below). IMG_2793

The winds of 2011 until the present:

Posted on by anele25

This blog, Just Another Day, has been on a hiatus for 2+ years now. I didn’t do it on purpose nor have I forgotten that the blog world exists. In fact, the original intent of the blog was to document a personal journey of sorts. Here I am 2 years later, you could say a different person. No longer am I young and rebellious (that is up for debate however). For myself, I could say I have grown more discipline and aware of the fact that I grew because I wanted to help myself. I have several avenues of people and ideals which have helped me along the way. School, well that ship I jumped on and finished with a BA in Psychology. The long tireless hours of writing papers, figuring out formulas, and generally socializing with classmates has come. It’s funny because I wrote a few years about how each year has taught me a lesson. This was back in 2013. jump in 4 years later. School took up a bulk of those years from 2013-2017. Now in the present I am a professional in the research world as a coordinator for a study which focuses on physical activity and nutrition. I asked myself this week, just how in the heck did I go from Sales Floor Team Member at Target to Social Science Research Coordinator at Stanford? I present to you the journey that all started back in 2011. That was a pivotal year in my growth and to this day I don’t know where I would be without it. Here is my story in 2011 and how it led me to today:

 

I was sitting at home one evening in 2011 after coming home from work, exhausted and getting ready to watch Monday Night Raw. This was during the buildup to WWE’s World Series WrestleMania. The Rock dazzling the audience, had just returned saying he was back. I had just finished a shift at Target where I was outside talking to a friend about life at work and life at home. The next day after being super excited from my conversation with my friend and the Rock’s return, I realized something was terribly wrong. The pain in my kidneys had returned and I knew what it was. I had kidney stones from a very early age. I made a doctor’s appointment for the next week and they referred me to a specialist thereafter. The nephrologist (name for a kidney specialist) had broken the news to me that I would need to just watch my diet and focus on exercise. Then she told me I had polycystic kidney disease. That day I learned the lesson that telling the brutal honest truth (even if it is coming from a doctor) to someone can be very heartbreaking and can do wonders for the unknown. This has helped me in my journey because I don’t want to be seen as being dishonest whether it is with a professional colleague, if it was during my time in school, or with any of my friends. Ever since, I have focused on keeping my diet steady and working on my physical activity.

 

I have never been shy also in the idea that I do not like asking for help. That year was also when I looked at myself in the mirror and said I had to bunker down and finish school. I have one or two friends who still to this day say “I want back to school” or “school is too hard”. There is that one famous Fight Club scene where Brad Pitt and Edward Norton go into the liquor store and the clerk says he wanted to become a veterinarian. The guy says there was too much school and Brad Pitt’s character says if he wants to die on his knees in the back of a liquor store. I watched that movie over ten years ago and it still sticks with me. The point is, I had nowhere to go but up. I always afraid of math. I would never ask professors for help. I said to myself all you have to do is ask for help. I talked to counselors, friends, and family on what I should do. That one friend who did end up helping me was Ricardo. I had met him almost 3 years prior. To this day on September 2nd 2017 we still talk. I talked about my decision to step away from school for a semester. I wrote about it in detail in the archives available here. The idea that he helped me is why I am forever grateful to him. I didn’t know where to go and how to do it. I know this isn’t the time or place to say so but I almost felt that him helping me on which classes I should take or where I should take those classes are why I succeeded, was almost like a calling card that this guy was meant to help me. I took the necessary classes at San Jose State all the way down to Mission College. To him, the important lesson I learned that it is ok to ask for help even if you don’t necessarily want it. Will you fail? Yes, and accepting that you tried with every bit of your willpower is what got me through. To this day, I have to remind myself that it is ok to ask for help at work, at home, or even from friends when I don’t want to seem pushy with them. I asked from help from a variety of sources that year and without them I am forever grateful.

 

The one thing that I have failed to mention along this long grueling journey is your friends will be there to support you. Whether they choose to see you and hang out with you is a different story. I had a friend named JB not too long ago. I thought the world of him and I can honestly say he knew several things that I did not. He helped me overcome my shyness and how to not be so unapproachable. We have not spoken in 6 years face to face. I’ll never know why or how it happened. I have reached out to him and I have gotten a lukewarm response of “we’ll see” or “I don’t know if I’m going to be busy”. This goes back to friends will see you if they want to see you. Even during this time frame from 2011-2017, I have gained a few friends back and some that I hadn’t heard from in years. I have two friends in particular who I think the world of. I saw them once or twice within this time frame and I never did see them again after. Friends, whether you like it or not have different priorities. One friend may be low priority or high priority depending on how both sides see it. With that I bring to you a story filled with excitement and joy that was brought about by a different source than usual.

 

I was finishing my senior year at San Jose State and during the week I had gotten a text from a friend of my brother’s. My brother had kept in contact with him from time to time. His name is Aldo and he had texted me about an opportunity to work at Stanford School of Medicine. It would be a temp position as a research assistant. I didn’t think much of it. I texted him back the next day that I would love the opportunity. That same weekend, I got the news that my Grandfather had succumbed to Parkinson’s disease and had passed away. I thought the world of him and I never got the chance to say goodbye. I remember driving to the airport (in Sacramento mind you), and my mind was racing with the idea of something new and fresh. A few months prior, I had transferred stores to another Target. The idea behind it was to first be closer to home and to finish out school easier. I also wanted to be close to a friend as well that had recently transferred there. The school year was coming to a close and my college endeavor as an undergrad was as well. Target does prepare you to deal with guests and personalities only a kindergartner could dream of. I still remember the many guest complaints we would get or the occasional obsessive personalities from one manager which I still admire to this day. However, I digress and say I was excited at having a chance at the idea. I fixed up my resume and filled out my application and sent it to my friend Aldo. I got the news the next week I didn’t get it and someone else had filled the position. I had started going to job fairs at school and said maybe that would be the answer. I couldn’t find anything that excited me (although that Walgreens manager did a really good job at selling me on the idea of being a shift leader). That year started off terrible with me being rejected at Stanford and the death of my Grandpa. But, the will of one never resists temptations to move on up. I got a call from Aldo that said I was being called up and I would need to freshen up my resume for an interview. I fixed that up and it was the first time I realized that it was going to take some courage to do this. I nailed the interview (or so I think) and the one thing that helped me was that how well you get along with others will take you far. You can be the smartest guy in the room and even that can get you some heat. I talked about some of the things that make me a good team player as well as the idea that I would need to be on board to help out. I said yes and off I went home. I didn’t think much of it and I went to my brother’s house. I got the e-mail right away that I got hired. I was elated and surprised at the same time. Two days later, I put in my two weeks at Target. As for the departure from Target, it was an experience that I’ll never forget and everybody (even if it’s for a few hours) should work retail. As a research assistant, I had the chance to recruit participants for a physical activity study on the telephone. It was really all about learning the ins and outs of eligibility. We had certain requirements (activity levels and little to no health issues). I did that for nine months and after I graduated I applied for a full time job with the same lab. I was more nervous for this position because of the added responsibilities and extra work load. However, that was not to be and I went in to interview for the position and I was told that I had gotten it a week and half later. For almost two years, I have been working on this study (with 338 participants) and now with the added knowledge that I have, I feel that it has been fulfilling, exciting, and I have made a few friends out of it. I have also gotten to see that help comes from the unknown sometimes and you may not even realize it. To my friend Aldo, I tell him from time to time that if it weren’t from I wouldn’t be where I’m at. I ultimately did it but help comes from the unexpected. Thank you my friend.

 

As I wind this down, I do want to touch on something that has brought me here from 2011 to 2017. My dog Paloma was also instrumental in helping me get here. Last year in July, she was run over and I could not save her. It was a Saturday night and I had decided to for a walk by the 101 freeway by my house. I had crossed the freeway for cars and I was very close to being hit. I barely dodged the car and I looked behind me to see her bloodied from the car that had just passed. My other dog Zorro was behind me and he thankfully survived. I remember being devastated and one person stopped to help. I did not get her name and for all I know she might have done it out of the goodness of her heart. To her I say thank you because she helped me get Paloma off the road. I vividly remember calling everyone from my mom and dad to my brother. My brother was devastated because he brought her in first to the house. She eventually had her son Zorro and I think I see so much of her in him. After I called everyone letting them know what happened, an ambulance stopped by to let me know that Paloma was no longer breathing. This was the hardest day of my life. My dad buried her the next day and I remember seeing a Paloma in the air that day and Zorro staring at it. RIP girl I miss you every day. If there’s anything that helped me get through that year of 2011 in my decision making it was that dog and her ability to cheer me up when things weren’t looking the brightest because of where my head was in terms of finishing school. She was my motivation to be loving and caring to those around me. It also helped me get outside more as well. I was close to her and I think it does help to have pets in your life. Zorro has carried on her legacy fairly well and I cherish that dog every day. I leave you with this everybody

 

I do want to continue writing on this blog and I just need to get my creative juices flowing again. I want to commit to writing at least once a month on here. Where I am now, I can’t say I am completely satisfied because I still want to travel to other places and also to explore more places. This is something that really gets me on my high horse. This has been a good reflective piece to where I am now. Till next time everyone!

Going Mobile…

Posted on by anele25

The fun filled year of 2014  brought me some pain, joy, happiness, and sometimes frustration but I’ve began to discover new things about myself. I finally understand what I want out of life. Not that I have the meaning to life , but I have found some sense of purpose in my life moving forward. It wasn’t long ago that I was content just sitting at home and not doing much other than going back and forth doing the same thing 5-7 times a week. In the past month, I’ve transferred from my old work location and moved to a new store. The store isn’t as well staffed but the opportunity to work with new, younger talent is enticing. My schooling is going great and even though it may not be perfect (why should it be?), I’ve made new friends and have kept some of the same ones from previous years and semesters. I’ve said that being on your own can be kind of scary but when you’re moving from location to location and you know how to navigate yourself, what’s there to be afraid of? Not too long ago, I wrote a paper describing my mom’s struggles and her ability to move to a new country when she was 24. I can’t imagine the fear and the pain that goes through someone’s head when they are going through that phase of their life. I know that my mom was happy enough that she decided to stick it out and settle down here in the United States. Even speaking Spanish, and not any English must have been somewhat of a scary thought because you are thinking in the back of your head that what if I don’t make it here in the United States? My point here being that I’m no longer that afraid to approach new situations and new locations in life. Just in the past year, I’ve gone to places I wouldn’t have imagined I would go to. For example, in June my brother, mom, and niece went to Disneyland for my birthday which seemed out there but we did it anyway. I’ve also been to Seattle which at first sounded like a sedentary place to go on a trip but my friend and I said what the heck let’s give it a shot. The trip as you can see here was awesome:

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I found myself in this different type of mode because instead of being in my normal mood, I found it soothing that we were in a different city with different kinds of people. Case in point, instead of being quiet and not really talking to anybody, I was talking with anyone that seemed interested in having a conversation. I would talk to them about wrestling, football, and even baseball. Not taking anything away from the Bay Area, but having the opportunity to talk to people from another part of the country felt right. I told my friend Ricky that doing this was worth it because we got a different perspective from the northwest where I wouldn’t have even dreamed of going in my lifetime.

I also happened to go to Hawaii recently and here are some pictures that prove that our adventurous and raunchy style of living doesn’t hurt anybody in the end:

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In a way the trip that took place two weeks ago opened my eyes to a world that I’ve never known. I met people that were funny, witty, and smart. There were those I appreciated for their candid open spirit. I would want to go back and expand upon my social settings because I feel I haven’t scratched the surface yet when it comes to holding a conversation and bantering with people. One day I will go back and I can feel that growth is a part of life that never ends. I started this blog almost 5 years ago and though it has slowed down, I will continue to update with any crazy adventures I may have in the future. I am almost done with school and I feel that I have to focus on finding a real job once I am done. It is exciting yet wonderful because I can begin a career or continue my schooling with a master’s degree. With this, I see that my life has meaning because I have been given opportunities to do anything I want. I sometimes see others that have less than I and I truly am blessed that I am where I am because when something is given to you, you must take it and run with it as fast as possible but at some point you may slow down. Happy new year everyone and keep striving!

Pressure…

Posted on by anele25

With two weeks left of summer, it is only fitting that I sit here and write about pressure. From the first time I heard pressure, I was naive and young. I was being pressured to do things that only my friends wanted to do. They wanted to play in Pokemon tournaments and I wanted to go and play arcades. My self conscious didn’t know it at the time but pressure was something that was put right in front of me. I learned early on that those little situations which we are thrust into allows us to grow and learn as individuals and groups. Recently, I sat down with my childhood best friend and we discussed how our lives were going. Now, typically we sit down and discuss our favorite topic: wrestling. As much as it is seen as a little kid thing, there is something that still draws us to the magic and circus that is put on our TV sets. However, after all the usual “did you see this match or what’d you think of that card” talk I asked about one of our childhood friends whom I have recently not spoken to. This friend of mine had decided at my age (we’re the same age) to upstart a marriage and possibly have a family one day. Truth be told, without an education and a steady income it is difficult to say that marriages in the United States can last beyond 5-10 years. I always had a real deep understanding of where our childhood friend was coming from and how he perceived himself. Yes, he is your typical male (just like I) meaning he is arrogant, competitive and in your face when he knew he was right about almost anything. But, when me and my childhood friend sat down he said that my one time close friend had decided to call off getting married. I truly was shocked and dumbfounded by this information because of how great I believe that marriage can be. There is something dynamic about it because it is almost like you are growing together instead of focusing on one’s own goals entirely. For myself, I see it as two partners in a race that go together and one might slow down and the other one just might start speeding up. The importance of getting together and asking yourself what your goals are in that race can become quite difficult and even self fulfilling. Once this discussion about our friend heated up a bit, I found myself asking “what are said person’s goals and just how did the pressure get to him?” We all have pressure all around us. In my friend’s case, he had the pressure of raising a family, saving up for a house, getting a steady income, creating a budget, maintenance around the house, and who knows what else. How does pressure come to us though or do we allow it to do so if it gets to that point? For example, there are two individuals searching for a way to solve a problem ( one real, one hypothetical). In one situation, person A may be stuck on the idea that the way he does his job is the correct way no matter what anybody else says. He may even come the decision that his boss’s words don’t even matter at this point. So, one day his boss comes up to him and asks him why task X didn’t get done the way he wanted it. Let’s say for this situation that he didn’t like the type font he used for the presentation or he didn’t lay out the format properly. The pressure starts to mount and the employee let’s the emotions get the best of him and he lashes out at his boss for his stupidity and his ignorance. All of a sudden, person A is put on suspension till further notice. One thing is very apparent here: the pressure got to both the employee and the boss because they couldn’t understand the true nature of why they did what they did in the first place. Person A was set in his ways of doing the task he always does it but the boss couldn’t come down on his employee and ask him the way he wanted it because of how communication broke down. The boss simply couldn’t understand the idea that things could be done differently but the employee could have also come to him and asked him to level with him. The pressure was too much for both men and in this case you lose a good employee for a few days or a few weeks, The boss goes back to the drawing board and the pressure is all gone. It’s funny how in this case pressure comes up in dire situations or in situations where no matter what there’s some sort of consequence attached to it. In a situation where I felt pressure, I can remember in middle school loving to work on homework after school. It was something we at Sunnyvale Middle called AMB, which now that I recall it have no idea what it stands for. Anyway, I was offered by my teacher as something that I should try because for one you got all your homework done (or most of it). Second, you got to interact with all your classmates and maybe even joke around a bit. I would get my math homework done, my lit work done, and a little history homework as well. But, now that I recall this experience did I actually do this because I liked school or was I pressured by others to try this? Even in situations where I have taken classes with friends (and otherwise), I ask myself that same question. I looked at it from the perspective as learning and going far away from myself to learn even more even though I wasn’t into school too much at the time. But, as I referenced earlier, what exactly creates pressure? Is it ourselves or the environment we live in? In different parts of the world, I am almost certain that the technology we have here is not there. I am shocked at how  the resources we have here can almost cause us to feel immense pressure. In another part of the world, it may be different. I can say that in the little part of the world where my parents are from there is no internet. I know this because I have been there at least ten times. With a computer or even a smart phone, we can pay our bills, download our music, hear podcasts, and watch movies. Over there, there is no such thing. Even with all the technology we have it is sometimes pressure within this fast paced society that makes us want to get the next PS4 or the next Iphone. Yes, all this stuff is wonderful and very useful but do we pressure ourselves when we don’t have it right away? Probably due to others having it we automatically think there is pressure to get it. I know in my case when my Ipod Touch recently turned to pitch black in the early part of the year I had to get the new one. I couldn’t possibly surf the web, have all these cool apps, and look at all my music without this new device. I pressured myself in that instant to get a new one because the old one wasn’t doing it for me anymore. But, I waited long enough and didn’t get it right away because with no build up there really was no satisfaction. I say the same thing for students like myself that had been taking classes for a prolonged period of time that if you are feeling pressured to finish right away at the Junior college level (2-3 years). I took classes for a long time but in any other time period I believe I wouldn’t have felt ready and really there was no pressure because I was enjoying the majority of classes taken. I feel now the pressure is on but it’ll be on a mild level because only I can determine the amount of pressure I put on myself. Going back to my friend, if I did have anything to say to him it would be this: don’t feel pressure to do things right away. If you feel you’re too old to do something, then shame on you because you can always go back. If you feel you don’t have the physical capabilities to do something, try it and if you fail get up and try again. If you feel you don’t have the mental capabilities, look for details and small hints at what you are exploring. I know I will see my friend again and I also know that some day he’ll find that girl because he has the tools and necessities to do so. Pressure, we all know it and feel it deep inside of us. Till next time!

When someone lies to you…

Posted on by anele25

It has been quite a while since I’ve posted on this blog and the reason that I have stopped for a while is because my life is going great and nothing dramatic has happened as I lead a pretty simple life. But, something I heard yesterday that bothered me and hurt me deeply. Last year around this time I met a friend. This friend of mine is someone that I believed to be one of the good ones, one of those that you have a hard time finding. I subsequently met this person at my work and it was almost too good to be true. The first night I worked with her, I couldn’t believe how great and funny she was and she also couldn’t miss a beat when it came to understanding things that were on my mind that night. I believe we just talked about travels that we had both made and also a few other strange happenings taking place at work. The first time we hung out was after work and it was the usual business that usually happens when a guy and girl get together to talk about life. I said to myself , “This is why I’m still here, for people like this and all the experiences that I share with them”. The conversation we had that night had me thinking that this girl might like me but I said whatever and there couldn’t possibly be any interest whatsoever. But, the more I saw her, the more I figured that she too had the same feeling that I did. I felt we had a really connection at that time as we shared so much in common. Even though we didn’t share some interests (music and movies mostly), I felt our lives were somewhat parallel in that we had some tragedies and triumphs that we had both experienced. This helped get through some of the fun that we had due to the sometimes outrageous topics that we would run into. After hanging out a few more times, I felt this person was really someone that I could call a really good friend. I saw movies with her, had some fun lunch and dinner conversations with her, took some fun walks with her, and I also found myself listening more than I did talking. If there is anything I am good at, it is listening to people whether it is something great that has happened to them or something horrible that has happened to them. The more I listened to some of her jargon, the more I felt that most of her life was booked on the fly with her impulses taking over instead of her thinking about it. For example, one time we were meeting up and she insisted that I had to one day visit her home state which, after some serious thinking, would not have been a good idea. I knew in my head that having friends like this was difficult and hard on my head. Throughout my life, I have had my friends leave me or just lose contact with me. I may not see them for a really long time and when and if I see them it just feels really awkward to see them. I couldn’t stand to lose her because of how she kept going back and forth of staying here and going back home. It was almost as if I wasn’t meant to keep the same friends for a prolonged period of time because of how different personalities clash and how we go through our lives with different goals in mind. I believe her goal was that she wanted to live life on the mend. I saw her on and off for the beginning of the summer and it was like heaven. It was the most fun that I had since the last time that I had a friend like that. We would have some early afternoon lunches on our days off and sometimes before work. As I said before, most of the time we spent discussing life and it was very refreshing and awesome to get someone else’s opinion on what was going on in your life. But, something occurred to me, and it was the fact that she was very mysterious. I would sometimes ask her how school was going and most of the time she was very vague and not very detailed. The typical answers were “good” and “ok”. During the late part of the summer, I would sometimes take her to work because of “car trouble” and I started seeing the cracks in the armor. I was getting ready for work and I got a text message detailing how she had some car trouble and she had trouble getting to work. I said “if you need anything please let me know”. But, then things got stranger and when I was pulling into work one day I saw her driving the same car that she had been talking about that same day that she couldn’t possibly drive. I had no choice but to keep my mouth shut and my eyes open for any clues as to what else she could be lying about. As time went on, she would give some hokey reasons as to why she couldn’t hang out a certain day. I hate being lied to and this one really hurt. I started noticing that our hangouts got less frequent due to circumstances that were apparently out of her control. One example I can think of is when we were scheduled to go to a concert together and all of a sudden she said she said she had to sell the tickets them due to something that had come up. She kept insisting at this point in time that “she could understand if I didn’t want to be friends anymore”. This upset me because I believed her to be one of the good ones and I believe she sold the tickets because she felt bad for having me come along for someone I didn’t care to see in concert. She never told me why she sold the tickets other than something had come up. This is where all the lying began and after this it just got worse. In the fall, she had apparently hurt her foot and out of all the things to get her out of work it has to be her foot. She only told me once that she had fallen down her stairs and I thought how strange that someone would fall down there stairs in order for this to happen. I understand that a foot injury or a sprain is tough to go through, but I kept insisting that we should hang out but everything had to be on her time and every time I would ask her to do so she had no answer other than “I’m busy”. What was interesting was that a friend of mine at work said she had spoken to this person and she said that she was “bored” and there has to be something else to do other than being on the internet all day. This upset me and once I again I wasn’t going to confront her about because that would not be worth the trouble. I have had a few friends that have had sprained foots but they came back within a month to work but she took 3 months which was surprising due to her take on how her pain was. From my talking to a good friend, his take was that most X-Rays were inconclusive and it was difficult to determine the severity of an injury unless you spoke to that one person that felt the pain. This way you got a doctor’s note that could say that you were unable to work. I saw her on again off again for a couple months until November 7th which was one of the few times I saw her for what she really was. We decided (actually she decided) that she and I should take a trip to San Francisco and once again it was done on the fly. She once again surprised me because of her compulsive buying and expensive spending on gifts for some people that she would only see maybe once or twice a year. I understand some people are like this but how did she gets so much money from working a job in retail? I figured “maybe her family helps her out” but there was no way of that happening? Was I crazy for thinking that? It was a very fun trip and that to me was the “finale” of what was our friendship as we didn’t talk that much thereafter. We would go back and forth about a few things but she ultimately decided that California was not the best place for her and she went back home in December. Apparently, she was finishing her Master’s degree in order to go and teach in her home state. She said she had a friend that worked over there and she would possibly be ready to go and work there for a couple of months. However, I found out yesterday from a good friend of mine that he saw her on Facebook a few weeks back saying that she was in Las Vegas. I once again wondered “how does she have all this money and is she really over there teaching?” It hurt so much to hear that and it was almost as if our friendship never happened and she is just a distant memory now. It hurt because I believed she was going back home to help her family out and focus on her education but now I hear this and it once again is another lie. Why do people lie? I’ll probably never know but my thought is that people are afraid to know who they really are and they look for something to make sure they look like a million dollars. Nobody wants to be seen as a loser and in this case I believe she was running away from something. It could be she was running from a person, a life event, personal issues, or something that had happened in her past. I saw her as a good person and she still resides in my heart as being somebody that can really be good. If you are reading my friend, I hope you know that I have written this to get some closure on my behalf and I hope you can come to terms with who you are. It is my belief that some of the lies that you told me did really hurt and I hope you are enjoying your life. If that is the way you wish to enjoy your life then so be it, every human expects the best out of there lives and why should yours be any different? As for me, well I’m over the fact that we were friends for a couple of months and I’ve moved past the fact that you were the way you were. Lying is the worst possible way to get what you want and I hope you understand that and I chalk up as another life lesson. I don’t know why I met you, maybe it was to teach me that life brings us the good and the bad. At the middle of the road, you and I met and it was the best of both worlds. These words said and typed here meant something here today and if anything it serves as reminder that we get what we want but we don’t get what we have. I wanted a friendship and instead I got a reminder that life is full of journey’s and mishaps and what not. For now, we’ll just have to see what comes in the future and who knows maybe I’ll meet someone down the line that feels the same way I do. Thank you for reading I hope you understand, Goodbye and good night!