Tag: Advice

Writing Prompts #4: Do You have anyone in your life that has acted as a mentor to you? Have you ever helped someone out in this Way?

Posted on by anele25

The next writing prompt which is outlined above is something that I have never thought about until I saw the prompt over the weekend. Seeing as how today is President’s Day, I thought I would sit down and write a little about someone who served as a mentor for me when I started working at Target almost 10 years ago. How the timeline is doesn’t matter for context of this story because these are just a few of the things I appreciated about this gentleman. I remember meeting this older guy, who for identity purposes, we’ll call Jacob. I remember first meeting him when I was working in the grocery department and some customers were looking for somebody by his name. The catch was that they had to find someone by his name and take a picture with him. I then realized this guy must be really cool for them to ask him that and he takes the picture with them. From there, Jacob started acting as a mentor to me. I remember one particular instance where I got called by a customer and someone had (in a joking fashion) said that their name was Jose and I was freaking out because I had never even spoken to this customer over the phone. I then started asking around and asking if anyone knew who had used my name. Little did I know, Jacob told this person who had used my name to tell me that it was him because I had been freaking out. This person who had used my name then apologized and after that I said, ‘wow that was really nice of Jacob to go up to this other person and stick up for me’. I then realized that I can learn so much from Jacob and his life experiences. He had worked various jobs and he knew what it was like to interact with people. I wasn’t the most social or outgoing person and he taught to just be natural and not act awkward towards customers. I also learned that you can take things personally or not because we were dealing with people all day whether it was with managers, team members, and customers. His advice was helpful because he gave me confidence to advance in life and he also taught me one of the many important lessons in life: work hard and eventually you’ll get your due.  I also started taking a less serious approach over the months as I was working there and I remember in my review for the first year working there, I got told that I was unapproachable and didn’t seem friendly. Jacob gave me the advice that you just need to relax and not take it so seriously.

 

I started smiling a little more at work and giving good customer service as opposed to before because I was not used to being in such an environment. As the years went by, myself and Jacob started working a lot more together and we bonded over the amount of work we would have to do, life advice, and sports. The one thing Jacob helped me with was realizing how much I helped myself out by separating myself from certain people. I remember him telling me that a certain friend of mine seemed different and one piece of evidence was when this friend of mine was switching teams because his team the Broncos had lost to the Raiders (best Football team out there!). I then started realizing my friend was just trying to be trendy by being with winners. He told me specifically ‘you’re in it for the teams and sports he isn’t’. It was one of the few moments I made the analogy between folks switching teams and the friendships they build. The way you drop friends and then decide to switch teams was apparent right there. These moments that I have mentioned above are why this Jacob fellow was one of my first mentors in life. He made you feel appreciated, he listened to you when it mattered, and we also shared some details about our own lives. I appreciated another time me and Jacob had a long discussion about me transferring stores. I had done the decision because I wanted to be closer to home and I was finishing up my final year at San Jose State. He supported me in this choice and I remember feeling pretty sad because I knew that I would not be able to talk to Jacob as much as I used to. I lasted at my new Target store 6 months but I remember stopping by to make a payment to a friend of mine. I saw Jacob there and we started talking about old times. I realized that I missed his advice and I remember I would have situations where I was just stuck whether it was at home, at work, or in life.

 

Almost a year ago, I saw one of my old co-workers and she gave me the news that Jacob had recently been diagnosed with Cancer and I was extremely sad that I never got to connect with him over that. It’s funny because I asked her to give me his number so I could contact him and ask him if I could help out in any way. I never got that opportunity but I would imagine it was hard on him. I would say the second part of that prompt is something I’ve always been interested in doing but it is not something that has come up in life. I would say Jacob taught me to be me most of all and also break out of my shell when it was necessary. I remember some of his classic sayings were ‘I just work here’ and ‘two highs ok with me’. These were some of those moments that just make me smile and think he knew how to have a good time and he wouldn’t seem upset about too many things. He would just keep on trucking without any hesitation. I wonder about getting old sometimes and the wisdom that I would be able to spread to others as well. I would certainly use my old friend and mentor Jacob’s will and humor to work my way through any situation. He didn’t seem like he was angry at the world either as I mentioned earlier which is something I’ve learned to take on as an everyday motto. I also learned from him that no matter how many people you deal with in life, the ones that matter will always be closest by you when it matters. He even mentioned in passing that ‘wouldn’t you like to be my son’. He knew very well that he was sort of a father figure towards me and he would protect me. He would talk about how much his family meant to him and he would speak with glee whenever he speak about his kids as well. He’s one of the main people I think about whenever I have a problem at hand and I take his many words of advice to heart. I miss the guy and I know where ever he may he also remembers what he taught me. Thank you buddy, thanks for the memories and the laughs! Till next Time!

Imagining you are with your old school friends….

Posted on by anele25

“Where do you see yourself in ten years?” is something I would hear often during my high school years and tonight I wanted to sit down and write about a topic that I have hardly thought about. I have had some changes in the past twelve years since High School and I want to reference high school because that was the time when we all transitioned from childhood to High School. A great friend of mine recently gave me a book for Christmas that has 300 writing prompts and I intend to write as many as I can before I die or perhaps before the one day comes that I will lose my passion to write anything (I highly doubt this). One of the topics in the book asks this “Imagine you are at your next high school reunion. How do you think your old school friends would react to the person you are today?” I don’t think anybody is the same person they were five or ten years ago. Experiences, goals, and relationships change us all. High school for me ended on June 8th 2006 and on that day I remember not really waving at anybody or seeming excited that high school was over.

I just looked it at as another phase of life that had ended for me and I was ready to move on with my life. I wasn’t the most popular person or most outgoing person. I wouldn’t go to parties or hang out with the in crowd. I would say if I were to meet my old school friends they would treat me exactly the same but we would be different in our lives. I remember hanging out with one of my friends from high school in 2015 and we did what guys usually do: go hang out and talk about life. One thing I remember noticing about my friend is how much he had changed from being super funny and outgoing to being a former shell of who he is. No longer was he the fun loving guy people would gravitate towards but he had become more serious in the way he acted, the way he thought, and the way he approached people. I felt that when we hung out we had almost reversed roles. I was now in a position where I had gone through certain experiences and was now in control of my emotions. Before I would be irritable, angry, and somewhat moody. Now, I saw my friend in this position and there was no way I could change him because you can’t change anybody’s perspective in life on where he was. However, going back to the original question I would say if my old school friends saw me they would ask how things changed, what do I think was the best way to do this, and would start asking me about my career and where I was. One other thing that has never been steady in my life as well would be my diet and exercise.

Recently, I have started watching my diet because of the surgery that I have undergone (more of this information available in an earlier blog post). I would say they would be shocked because my diet in high school wasn’t particularly great as I would eat like crazy in high school. I also remember I took a strength training class in college and this is when my life was in flux on whether I should continue to work out or not. One of my classmates commented on how good my stamina was because we would take weekly runs on stairs or outside on a track. This is something I would point out to my friends because of how much a statement I like to make with this. I would also say my friends would be surprised because I was never the most athletic in high school and I never played sports either. I also would dare say that people would start asking about the type of motivation I have behind this. I have believed that in the past few years that my motivation is to live as long as possible and the experiences and memories we make are based off of this. I can wake up tomorrow and not be motivated but one thing that gets me is the ability to know that every day is a new opportunity, a new challenge, a new hello, a new morning, a new something to look forward to.

Sure, we all sit in traffic on the way to and from work but this is a part of what life is. I would think if I were to tell this to my friends they would start laughing at me but I truly do believe that this does motivate me to achieve something greater every day. I also sometimes wonder if they would even recognize me because in High School you have your one or two friends that you stick close by with. I remember sitting in a row full of strangers that I had never met in my life. This is something I fear because of how diverse and far the field has gone in terms of how big of a class we were. But, I know I would have my friends that would be there to support me in how I am doing and how I have changed. I also have documented in how I think having a pet of some sorts has made me a nicer person. The dog I had before, Paloma, really made me appreciate life and the many intricacies of how to care for someone that is your own. Before, I didn’t have that somebody or something I could care for. Now, I have Zorro to care for and I also would say people would be surprised that I became a dog owner. Overall, I would say there would be some process for me to let it out because I don’t tell many people about my love for my dog. Once again, I think having a dog is like having a child because you have to make sure he or she is cared for and that he has his regular checkups at the vet or what have you. So there you have it, overall I would say that others would have kids, maybe other people have moved out of the area, and me I’m still the same person in mind but I have made a few adjustments. Change is good for all of us and time tells who will come out in front. To me, I would say I have been pretty successful with my life and where I am financially. I hope it is the same for everyone else and if it’s not hopefully I can have some profound impact on people.Till next time….

A life altering experience…

Posted on by anele25

This past Friday I probably had one of the hardest events I had to take in. As I have written in the past, I have medical issues with my kidneys. Some of this is because of poor diet, lack of exercise, and not drinking enough fluids. The other part is mainly just genetics. Recently, I had the displeasure of having a kidney stone once again hit me. I missed a week of work because of it and the pain I went through was excruciating. I even ended up going to the emergency room because of it. I would not wish this upon any other human being and the only thing I would advise is to cut back on certain foods. I would also advise to get plenty of activity into your everyday life. I passed the stone eventually and everything was back to normal. However, when something like this occurs not everything is going to be bloom and roses. I had gotten a CT scan done when I went to the emergency room. The CT scan is done to see where the stone is and how big it is. The CT scan I had gotten done showed that something on my left side was not as it should be and this is where my life altering experience comes in.

 

The day was like any other. I had gotten up and made some food to start off the day. I went to the gym after and listened to my favorite Friday getaway show Figure 4 Daily. This show is generally great and makes me laugh anytime I listen to it. If you’re not familiar with wrestling, it is with former UFC fighter Tom Lawlor and MMA/wrestling journalist Bryan Alvarez. Both men break down the news in wrestling for the week and occasionally talk about the happenings of a  wrestling/MMA show that has passed. I eventually finished the show (and my workout) and headed out to the library to handle some miscellaneous business of looking at some books and printing out something I needed for a later date. Once I was done there, I headed to the doctor and over to the Urology department. I headed to the room thinking this was either going to be really good or really bad. I waited for 5-10 minutes and the doctor broke the news of what is considered surgery for my kidney stones. He first showed me the stones and described in detail the size of them. I have 2 stones in my left side (one about 4 centimeters in length and the other about 1 centimeter). The surgery goes by the name Percutaneous Nephrolothotomy. It is described as the removal of large stones. The procedure requires a sheath to be inserted into the back and a nephroscope is placed near the sheath to remove the kidney stone. This should do the job in terms of removing the stones and to me if this fixes it, I would be all for it. After the procedure a tube or a stent is placed inside the kidney to collect urine to make sure the blood flow goes as planned. As I write this, it is as if I am going through some shock but it also feels therapeutic to write about an experience which will make me feel better. Some of the side effects after the surgery could be blood in the urine, pain in the back, nausea and pain in the abdomen and kidneys. The information I just described is what the doctor told me except this was more of a cliff notes version. I also was told that the appointment would most likely be a month out because my doctor’s scheduler would not be available. I know once again that having to go through this is for the best and I have a great support system. I left the appointment feeling as if this was something that was meant to happen to me and it would test me. It also showed me the importance of cherishing those around me. I talked to a friend of mine after and this person made me feel at ease for the surgery that was to come. I was assured that they would be there for me for anything I needed and for me that was the greatest thing I could ask for out of them. I also talked to my mom and dad not too long after to talk about what was to come. I also got the assurance from them they too would be there to help out in this difficult time.

 

After that was over, I decided to start planning out some adventures the next month. I wanted to head back to Florida (I will cover this in long form in my next post), but if this is going to happen in the next month there is a possibility I won’t be able to afford it. My mom suggested that we head out to LA to Universal Studios which is somewhere I have not been. I also want to head over to the Wrestling Guy Store in LA (something else I would love to cover in long form down the line). I have also been planning to head to a wrestling show for a local wrestling promotion called APW. There are so many events that I would love to get done before this surgery and all I want for this to succeed is good discipline and careful planning. I can only hope that all goes well for this surgery and I know my family will be there to help out when it is all said and done.

 

One event I want to touch on is the recent death of a close family friend’s brother. He was someone I had a few conversations with when I was younger and I can say he taught me quite a bit in those conversations we had. He also helped our family out here at our house. I can remember him as being a kind and gentle soul. I remember the day of his funeral the people that knew him best remembered him as being passionate, hardworking, and someone who would be willing to teach anyone anything. My brother told me after the passing of this friend of ours that he loved me and I told him the same thing. Those little things like that make me know that no matter where you are, your siblings will never let you down as long as you keep them close.

 

As you can see, it has been quite the past few weeks and there is a saying that at the end of the tunnel there’s always that light. I am keeping this in the back of my mind every day I wake up from now on until I have my surgery and even beyond that when situations get tough. Till next time, I will be covering my trip to Florida from this past winter on the next post.

Day #170 11/26/11: Nemesis…

Posted on by anele25

Quick recap of the day:

Watched more Wonder Years and watched one of the more enjoyable episodes Nemesis (“the bottom line” author’s note: this episode brought me back to how many situations come back to us and may hurt us in the end)

Talked to a good pal of mine at work about how he feels about relationships and how he went to extremes to satisfy his ex girlfriend which shocked me as to how smart he really is and how he makes me feel like I can just keep learning from these conversations.

and ended the night at the gym.

Day #24 7/2/11: Summer Book(s)…

Posted on by anele25

A friend once told me that if I enjoy what I study then read a book about it or even write about it and I have taken that opportunity here. This is the book I picked up back on Thursday and I’m pretty happy that I did so. The day was pretty basic as my dad and myself went to the bank to deposit money and get cash as well and we got some lunch from Chavez supermarket to get ready for wrestling which was actually better than usual as the wrestling world is a buzzing over CM Punk’s latest promo. Needless to say, the best angles in wrestling are those that mirror real life and this is what kind of draws an audience as I saw this promo as sort of a good thing to bigger and better things. I was surprised that not many angles that WWE does these days pay off anymore but this one can’t miss it because when you have that kind of guy with that sense of urgency then you can build off the themes of appreciation and being able to work hard. The rest of the day was pretty fun as I continued reading this amazing book and I am just about ready to dwell into the personality types portion which should be interesting as I am curious as to what type I am as well as my friends as well. Now, it may not be 100% accurate but I’ll take more as a “the more you get to know a person, the more you’ll see this type come out”. Work sucked but it was also pretty cool to work with a good co-worker of mine as we tried our best to piece everything together. I also said goodbye to a good friend/supervisor of mine who is heading out to greater pastures and his advice to me was to go and finish school so I can get my degree and not work where I work. I was happy when he said “doors will open up for you because you have a good head on your shoulders”. This kept me motivated and I know that I am a very smart guy as all I need is to get some outside sources and I should be all right. Otherwise, a very mellow day despite a few mishaps.