Pressure…

With two weeks left of summer, it is only fitting that I sit here and write about pressure. From the first time I heard pressure, I was naive and young. I was being pressured to do things that only my friends wanted to do. They wanted to play in Pokemon tournaments and I wanted to go and play arcades. My self conscious didn’t know it at the time but pressure was something that was put right in front of me. I learned early on that those little situations which we are thrust into allows us to grow and learn as individuals and groups. Recently, I sat down with my childhood best friend and we discussed how our lives were going. Now, typically we sit down and discuss our favorite topic: wrestling. As much as it is seen as a little kid thing, there is something that still draws us to the magic and circus that is put on our TV sets. However, after all the usual “did you see this match or what’d you think of that card” talk I asked about one of our childhood friends whom I have recently not spoken to. This friend of mine had decided at my age (we’re the same age) to upstart a marriage and possibly have a family one day. Truth be told, without an education and a steady income it is difficult to say that marriages in the United States can last beyond 5-10 years. I always had a real deep understanding of where our childhood friend was coming from and how he perceived himself. Yes, he is your typical male (just like I) meaning he is arrogant, competitive and in your face when he knew he was right about almost anything. But, when me and my childhood friend sat down he said that my one time close friend had decided to call off getting married. I truly was shocked and dumbfounded by this information because of how great I believe that marriage can be. There is something dynamic about it because it is almost like you are growing together instead of focusing on one’s own goals entirely. For myself, I see it as two partners in a race that go together and one might slow down and the other one just might start speeding up. The importance of getting together and asking yourself what your goals are in that race can become quite difficult and even self fulfilling. Once this discussion about our friend heated up a bit, I found myself asking “what are said person’s goals and just how did the pressure get to him?” We all have pressure all around us. In my friend’s case, he had the pressure of raising a family, saving up for a house, getting a steady income, creating a budget, maintenance around the house, and who knows what else. How does pressure come to us though or do we allow it to do so if it gets to that point? For example, there are two individuals searching for a way to solve a problem ( one real, one hypothetical). In one situation, person A may be stuck on the idea that the way he does his job is the correct way no matter what anybody else says. He may even come the decision that his boss’s words don’t even matter at this point. So, one day his boss comes up to him and asks him why task X didn’t get done the way he wanted it. Let’s say for this situation that he didn’t like the type font he used for the presentation or he didn’t lay out the format properly. The pressure starts to mount and the employee let’s the emotions get the best of him and he lashes out at his boss for his stupidity and his ignorance. All of a sudden, person A is put on suspension till further notice. One thing is very apparent here: the pressure got to both the employee and the boss because they couldn’t understand the true nature of why they did what they did in the first place. Person A was set in his ways of doing the task he always does it but the boss couldn’t come down on his employee and ask him the way he wanted it because of how communication broke down. The boss simply couldn’t understand the idea that things could be done differently but the employee could have also come to him and asked him to level with him. The pressure was too much for both men and in this case you lose a good employee for a few days or a few weeks, The boss goes back to the drawing board and the pressure is all gone. It’s funny how in this case pressure comes up in dire situations or in situations where no matter what there’s some sort of consequence attached to it. In a situation where I felt pressure, I can remember in middle school loving to work on homework after school. It was something we at Sunnyvale Middle called AMB, which now that I recall it have no idea what it stands for. Anyway, I was offered by my teacher as something that I should try because for one you got all your homework done (or most of it). Second, you got to interact with all your classmates and maybe even joke around a bit. I would get my math homework done, my lit work done, and a little history homework as well. But, now that I recall this experience did I actually do this because I liked school or was I pressured by others to try this? Even in situations where I have taken classes with friends (and otherwise), I ask myself that same question. I looked at it from the perspective as learning and going far away from myself to learn even more even though I wasn’t into school too much at the time. But, as I referenced earlier, what exactly creates pressure? Is it ourselves or the environment we live in? In different parts of the world, I am almost certain that the technology we have here is not there. I am shocked at how  the resources we have here can almost cause us to feel immense pressure. In another part of the world, it may be different. I can say that in the little part of the world where my parents are from there is no internet. I know this because I have been there at least ten times. With a computer or even a smart phone, we can pay our bills, download our music, hear podcasts, and watch movies. Over there, there is no such thing. Even with all the technology we have it is sometimes pressure within this fast paced society that makes us want to get the next PS4 or the next Iphone. Yes, all this stuff is wonderful and very useful but do we pressure ourselves when we don’t have it right away? Probably due to others having it we automatically think there is pressure to get it. I know in my case when my Ipod Touch recently turned to pitch black in the early part of the year I had to get the new one. I couldn’t possibly surf the web, have all these cool apps, and look at all my music without this new device. I pressured myself in that instant to get a new one because the old one wasn’t doing it for me anymore. But, I waited long enough and didn’t get it right away because with no build up there really was no satisfaction. I say the same thing for students like myself that had been taking classes for a prolonged period of time that if you are feeling pressured to finish right away at the Junior college level (2-3 years). I took classes for a long time but in any other time period I believe I wouldn’t have felt ready and really there was no pressure because I was enjoying the majority of classes taken. I feel now the pressure is on but it’ll be on a mild level because only I can determine the amount of pressure I put on myself. Going back to my friend, if I did have anything to say to him it would be this: don’t feel pressure to do things right away. If you feel you’re too old to do something, then shame on you because you can always go back. If you feel you don’t have the physical capabilities to do something, try it and if you fail get up and try again. If you feel you don’t have the mental capabilities, look for details and small hints at what you are exploring. I know I will see my friend again and I also know that some day he’ll find that girl because he has the tools and necessities to do so. Pressure, we all know it and feel it deep inside of us. Till next time!