Como poder olvidar
Tantos amigos sinceros
Como poder olvidar.
Como quisiera volver
-Los Temerarios “Como Quisiera Volver”
The year was 2008. I don’t remember much about the year except for the fact that I saw the greatest talent assembled for a retail giant at the Big Red Machine. At the beginning when I got there, I was the first of many that year that would come through and start this roll that the Machine got on and I didn’t understand what my purpose was there or if I was going to like it. As the weeks and months went by, I started getting acquainted with people I felt were good and the fact that they also had good hearts helped me out as well. There were two guys that stood out to me and these two guys would go onto to give me one of the strongest bonds I’ve ever felt in terms of storing my confidence and also giving me the reassurance that it was ok to be who I was. I remember first meeting Rick, who by all intents and purposes, was a nice and courteous guy which I could relate to as I seemed to have that attitude when it came to talking to people (although at first I didn’t). Then I met CJ who was another fun and outgoing guy that was pretty confident in himself to do whatever he wanted and I was ok with that at the time. One day we were all working together and I remember one of the guys had his Oakland A’s laynard hanging out of his pocket and I assumed he was a fan of the A’s. I was excited that someone else liked the A’s besides me at work and that person turned out to be CJ. All of a sudden, we started talking about the potential of some of the young players that the A’s had at that time and mind you this was outside of work at night which is very uncommon in any setting. Then, a few weeks later I started talking to Rick and every time I saw him he would do something nice or just say something that had me laughing. I remember specifically he and I headed out to lunch to Orange Julius which was walking distance from where we worked and I noticed it was pretty easy to talk to him. One time I recall he bought a small cheese pizza from our food avenue and he asked me if I wanted a piece and I told myself, “this guy’s way too nice”. I took it and I recall another time when he was walking by the department where I was working and he said he needed help since he had been busy with other things. I walked by where he was working and I noticed it didn’t look very good at all but afterwards we just had laughs about it. I believe that night we waited outside just talking about work and that’s where I noticed that this area outside had some sort of bonding feeling that only few places get. I remember asking them if they went to school and both CJ and Rick both said yes and I was happy at their answer because they seemed poised to do so much more than work in retail their whole life. For the next few months, this little area outside of work was the place where we would have those “post game huddles” and just b.s about life, sports, work, relationships, school, and movies. We had a variety of characters jump in and out of these post games because of how everyone’s schedules were different. One of the fondest memories I have of working there is just standing out there with a two buddies at the time talking about work and the fact that we got so much out of it amazed me because I learned so much. One of the guys did most of the talking because he had been there for a while up to that point. I remember I saw him like a teacher almost as he had such a wide array of knowledge and I was glad he was one of the first guys who took a liking to me. He would always ask me if I was willing to go to lunch with him and I politely would decline sometimes because I was afraid of what I would act like. But, after this conversation out in the post game area I realized that people just spill their hearts out there and you get to know what people are like. I was glad he had told me what he told me and the next time we did go out to lunch together which I enjoyed immensely. Another time, a good co-worker who I refer to as Malcom X, started talking to me about work and how he planned to eventually go into business which at the time I didn’t think was all that bad. The funny thing was that this once again happened outside which up to this point seemed a bit unusual to me. Then, suddenly, I saw one of my favorite managers there just pop out and start talking to us. I remember specifically how he mentioned how much sales impact the store, how he had stayed behind doing work in the clothing area, what interested him, and how much “clothing sucked ass”. That was honestly one of my favorite nights because I saw how much some people do actually care about the job they are doing. Another time, with myself and CJ, we got into this big discussion about sports and we just mainly talked about football. This is when I found out that he was into sports as much as I was and he actually cared about his teams (at the time anyway). But, the next time another manager came out and the previous time he heard our conversation but he was going outside to do some other work. This time, however, he joined our discussion about sports and he reasoned that he was a big fan growing up. he would collect his earnings when he was younger and gather them up to buy some collector’s cards, get autographs from players at a sporting event, and he would just talk about all these players that he loved growing up. I’m not too sure about the truth of this statement but I remember he said something along the lines of he would come and show us some of the stuff he had some day which unfortunately we never got to to see (shortly after he disappeared from our store). Talking this guy or anybody else like CJ and Rick seemed almost routine outside because we had a good set of minds, personalities, goals, and a bunch of other things. Slowly but surely, I started noticing that as our frequent hang outs outside the area of work increased I started wondering, how come nobody does anything, like go out to eat, or go see a movie? They did have that group of people that would go see a movie or something but I never was really interested in spending money to go see a movie at the time. I figured why not hang outside of work or even after work? The first time we attempted to do this was when I had no cellphone and CJ and Rick wanted to go to an A’s game but I had no number yet. So, now came July and I had found out almost a month or two earlier that Rick wanted to transfer to the Machine’s store near the San Jose airport and I felt a bit upset but it was better for him because he lived closer to there. At one point, I was thinking about joining him but I felt my my work was to be done there. The more I saw of CJ and Rick outside in our little area I noticed there was an undeniable chemistry between us as there were no egos, no b.s., no badmouthing, and best of all there was no conflict. I was going to miss Rick but CJ and I decided that we should go to Denny’s to celebrate his going away because I knew I was going to miss him. That night stands as the first night I realized that there is something special when you are having just a good ol’ time with two guys you couldn’t really think of as friends yet. I was on the fence at that point as to whether they were really friends or not. But, that night we chatted about work and the host of characters we had there. I remember Rick telling him that one of the guys that worked with him threw a box at him. I recall laughing at the antics that one employee had in nicknaming these three new guys we had and I just couldn’t control the laughter after he had done so. Just doing that made me feel I was apart of something more rather than just a flash in the pan. We had so much fun that night that I couldn’t believe by the time it was over it was almost 3 in the morning. Slowly, I started noticing this one girl at work that was very much to my liking and I told CJ about her as he had said that he noticed that I was very nervous about talking to her. This entailed the bond we had for the next two years almost as the more we started talking about her the less she actually started to matter because we moved past that after I saw what kind of girl she was. This certainly was the genesis of what would become our almost daily ventures to just talking outside to going to eat. One last memory I recall before going onto to talk about the nights that defined me there, one night a manager and an assistant manager were outside talking to myself and Rick. I remember the manager and how bad the economy was at that point. Rick pointed out that he was going to school to do something he wanted to do with life and I said the same but happened afterwards is something I learned for the rest of my life. An older lady came by and asked us for money because her car had run out of gas and she asked if we had 10 dollars to put in it. I politely gave her ten dollars but I learned that I shouldn’t have then because I really had no idea why I had done so other than I was being nice. Rick was upset that I had done so as I gave have him a ride home that night and the next night the same lady came by asking for money again but this time I really had no money and she kinda stared at money wondering why I didn’t budge this time I guess. Rick was kind enough to give me ten dollars after because he felt that I shouldn’t have given money to a stranger away and I happily put ten dollars in my gas tank. But, this area holds more for me than I would have imagined as I would like to present my six favorite nights (or memories) outside of the Big Red Machine:
6. “You have no idea, my life is all ‘f- my life'”
One night after our closing process myself, Walt, and Sanders decided to have a pow-pow after work and I was interested in this because we stayed there talking almost till 3 in the morning. Sanders had just joined our team in closing and it felt awesome having him there. We got out of work at 12:45 AM and I was always interested in Sander’s life because all these stories he told had almost a surreal effect to them and they sounded like they could only happen to him. He told us this one story about him taking a bus to go see “Lord of the Rings” and the movie had ended after 1 in the morning but the last bus had passed already so the cops saw them waiting around and mind you this was when cellphones were not that big yet. Seeing as how this was in Nevada, the cops held them till about the sun rose and they were scared for their lives because they crossed county lines. Eventually, their parents did pick them up and everything seemed good from that. I listened intently because some of the stuff that happened to him only could happen to him as he also told us about how he had stayed overnight at a train station in Oakland. He also recalled stories about his family and how short most of them are. He recalled effectively how he would take trips to Tahoe and the differences between here and there as it seems as there is more to do here in this area. That night, which was in December 2009, I realized that me being friends with Sanders and Walt was a good thing for me because I learned from other people’s experiences and their misfortunes because I would not want to be in their shoes as it takes a lot of guts to do so. At the end of the night Sanders said “seriously none of this stuff ever happens to you guys” and he said after “you have no idea, my life is all f- my life” and I just laughed all the way home because it was so true that things happen for a reason.
5. “You guys are really true friends”
This one is kinda scattered for me because it happened over the course of two nights and it started a relationship between two of my co-workers. It started kinds weird because usually people would just hang out after work and I usually stuck around. I saw one of my co-workers come out and this other girl come out as they started talking. I listened but I forget what they were talking about. I remember my male co-worker telling me I had nice socks but then my female co-worker busted out with some tennis balls and we just started throwing them. We tried throwing them at the lights in the parking lot and we started throwing them at each other which was really strange because I had never really considered doing this in the parking lot of the big red machine. I remember either my female co-worker or my male co-worker getting one under the trailers and I was like “how are they going to get that tennis ball out of there?”. They left it there and I wonder to this day if it is still there. I also recall my male co-worker getting wrapped around with some black paper by his soon to be girlfriend and she said “You look emo” and by all accounts he kinda did. I believe beforehand he wore his co-worker’s sweater and we both laughed at him and this ended with him saying that we were really true friends. That night was foggy and gloomy and eventually some managers came out asking what we were still doing there which was common for most of them to say. The next night they both went out to get some donuts but I then realized I had no idea where they were going so I bailed away. They ended up getting together which is still something that is going on now.
4. “Dude you always get surveys”
Myself, Walt, and Rick were sitting on these benches one night just gossiping about work and the fact that I had just for some reason gotten done being mad at Walt for some stupid reason I was happy that the three of us were able to talk some of the stories that we had encountered recently. Rick told me about how he had seen his female friend being made to cry by a manager and I didn’t realize at that point how much of a hindrance this manager was to the Machine. He also told me that he had seen how much he didn’t know in terms of credit cards and how they worked because he couldn’t figure out a problem Rick was having when dealing with a customer. I listened and I realized that you have to stick by those that you work with and not be buddy buddy with those that are above you. I also told them about how these stories on my end of the spectrum were as I had to deal with my share of customers on the phone and also on the floor as I saw share of laughter and also add in the fact that one of our co-workers and you had a reason to have some stories added to the mix. I then recalled about how much Rick would get “surveys” and what they meant for the store. I told him he always gets them and he wasn’t the type to take credit for all the success he was having as one of the to dogs at our store. Walt also contributed to this conversation as his goal at the time was to get a girlfriend and he wasn’t having much luck at that time but he seemed poised to do so. I was glad he wanted it so bad because he seemed like such a nice guy at the time. The night was the night before Spring quarter at De Anza and all three of us were beginning the quarter at De Anza and we all hoped to see each other the next day (which we never did). All in all, a good night.
3. ” How many friends do you have outside of here?”
The date was November 14, 2009 heading into the 15th and Walt and I had our differences at this point as I wasn’t sure what he was at this point. I questioned why he was our friend and I always asked CJ “What does he have in common with us?” At that point I was playing the “I’m better than you” card and I was ashamed that I did so because Walt really was (and still is) a good person. I felt that he added nothing to the friendships of CJ and myself and I saw him as an outsider. It all started way back the 31st of July of the same year when he had flipped because he had eliminated himself first on monopoly and he wasn’t used to losing. After that, Iwasn’t sure what to make him of him because he was always up and down but I have to say that some of it had do with the fact that CJ led me his way and the other part had to be me. I told Walt that he was really was an immature person that night for being upset and acting like a baby but he pointed out the fact that I have no friends besides the ones here as that had me hurting the rest of the night. I believe someone doesn’t need 20 friends to say how cool they are because wherever you go you’ll always have that friend that you grew up with it or that friend you had in high school. But, I understood where Walt was coming from because myself and CJ were being real dicks to him. I remember CJ thought that Walt was faking a back strain but then I learned after that we really don’t know what other people’s pain feels like. How can I be the one judge what another’s pain feels like? I also thought we didn’t need Walt at that point but we said our words that night and we ended it with just “we’ll pretend this never happened”. I said some stuff I shouldn’t have said and I was glad one of my other good friends there ESP decided to find out what was going on as he was the one to bring us together and ask questions as to why we weren’t getting along. Unforgettable night and it ended with CJ and Walt talking on the phone with me listening along the way as I was reminded that night that all these people are not meant to be your friends, but at least respect them. That was one night I truly can’t forget.
2. “Tell him how you really feel”
I recall that Last September myself and CJ started having issues and most of that came from my side as I wasn’t really buying into his kool-aid anymore. I saw most of what he said to be based on him and not other people. He seemed to be the type that just wanted to us control on people and that right there was a red flag as he said it himself. But, ESP decided to see what I really thought of CJ and I told him outright that he was full of himself and I never really knew why he had changed the way he did (changing his lifestyle, getting reestablished with social networks, and a bunch of other stuff). He gave his reasons and I listened and ESP thought this was good for our relationship. ESP thought it was a good idea to stage an argument to make it seem as if we were sick of each other as this was the strategy for one of my many failed attempts to get with a girl at the Big Red Machine. ESP just told me to “Tell him how I really felt” and right there was supposed to be a practice section which made sense at the time. CJ said if you really want her then I’ll tell you that I had a crush on her before so you just have to for it. I realized ok sounds like a plan but then this crush of mine realized that or heard that we had a falling out by what I was telling other people and this was misconstrued at that time. We didn’t end up doing it but it was all for the better anyway.
1. “Yeah, he’s leaving wooo”
This was an interesting night all the way back in February 2009 as the statement I remember from that night was “oh you’re here I don’t have to worry about anything” from a manager and I wasn’t even there in proximity to hear it. I remember we had one of the meetings in the store talking over the night’s plans and the same manager asking if we were going out to the club that night and he pointed out CJ as being the wing man which had me laughing after. After work, we waited outside with myself, CJ, and Walt waiting to see what we should do that night but all of a sudden we saw Rick and he came walking towards us which had me wondering what the heck was he doing there. This was one of the few times we had met up in this area after work and it was awesome to do so. Turns out he was on some business that night in the parking lot and he asked what we were doing that night. I told him we were going to eat possibly and he said he’d join us but then he shocked us with the news that one of our managers was going to leave soon. It was the same manager that made the comment about going to the club that night and I kinda chuckled because he made some of the strangest comments possible. I remember when he said “two high’s ok with me” and “boots are tricky”. All of a sudden (perfect timing) CJ grabs Rick’s hat and he started doing a dance and he made a happy statement that he was leaving. He did this really strange dance which had me laughing and that same manager popped outta nowhere wondering if CJ was ready to go to the club. I just laughed about it after as I realized only this stuff happens here. That night we dined at carrows and we just laughed the night away.
I can say about this area: No one hangs out there after work anymore. It’s almost ancient now and every time I walk by this area I get memories and the more the days pass by the more I realize I’ll never be able to bring them back. Some of these people have left and I just remember them. I remember what we left there, all the stupid stuff we’ve said while being there, and I also think that only guys like us could have done that. When I leave I hope to come back years later and just sit there for maybe half an hour and just think back. Nostalgia is always a good thing and we can only hope it never goes away. Till next time!
Just Another Day... 